This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize