dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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