You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
