i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
