Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
