I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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