Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
only if we run a train.
done.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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