I'm really into asian looking animals
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You are the jesus of drinking
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
