the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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