at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
