Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
