hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize