I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
