Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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