tell your sister to shave her snatch
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
