It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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