just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize