He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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