I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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