piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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