soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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