I don't think brook has ever known best
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I could make wine with my vomit
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
