kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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