Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
