I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
