Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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