how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have post one night stand depression
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
