You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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