She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
