He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
