i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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