He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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