Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
