I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
