Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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