Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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