dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
