So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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