He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
