youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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