he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
