wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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