Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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