I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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