Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
