Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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