Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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