I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
