hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
