I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
