yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
