I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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