Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
