then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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