Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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