Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
