Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
