This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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