I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
