6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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